Monday, February 20, 2023

Check Care Confirm Correct

 As I glance through the pages of a book I'm reading, I learn one crucial aspect of human interaction that is worth observing and modulating.

These four words have lighted up my cerebrum

Criticism, Complain, Compliment, Praise

These words can wound or heal

They can pierce or cover

They build or destroy


Regardless of reason or explanation


When these words are used to describe the actions of another or how one feels about the result of an action they can be considered as positive for the purposes of communicating respect and resolution needed.


However when they are consistently used to describe a person's character; with implication of feelings of disgust, utter displeasure at the person and not necessarily the actions - they point to a deep-seated-unresolved-unattended-unaccepted issues.


Examples paraphrased from book on seven principles for making marriage work

Complaint: There's no fuel in the car. Why didn't you fill it up like you said you would ?

Criticism: Why can't you ever remember anything? I told you a thousand times to fill up the tank, and you didn't.


Complaint: You should have asked me before inviting anyone over for dinner. I wanted to spend time alone with you tonight.

Criticism: Why do you keep putting your friends ahead of me? I always come last on your list. We were supposed to have dinner alone tonight.

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Check Care Confirm Correct

 As I glance through the pages of a book I'm reading, I learn one crucial aspect of human interaction that is worth observing and modula...